Interracial couples with children needed for interview

Hi all!

We were contacted by a writer who is looking to interview interracial couples with children for a piece in a magazine. You should be willing to have your names used and photos taken. If you're interested, please email (admin@everythingiric.com) asap (hopefully no later than this Thursday, 8/11) and we'll make the introductions.




Happy 4th of July, and happy 125th birthday to Lady Liberty!

Dear Readers,

Happy 4th of July, and happy 125th birthday to Lady Liberty!

For your enjoyment, Brad Paisley's Welcome To The Future. 

When I was ten years old
I remember thinking how cool it would be
When we were going on an eight-hour drive
If I could just watch TV
And I'd have given anything
To have my own Pac-Man game at home
I used to have to get a ride down to the arcade
Now I've got it on my phone

Hey, glory, glory, hallelujah
Welcome to the future

My grandpa was in World War 2
He fought against the Japanese
He wrote a hundred letters to my grandma
Mailed them from his base in the Philippines
I wish they could see this now
The world they saved has changed you know
'Cause I was on a video chat this morning
With a company in Tokyo

Hey, everyday's a revolution
Welcome to the future

Hey, look around it's all so clear
Hey, wherever we were going, well we're here
Hey, so many things I never thought I'd see
Happening right in front of me

I had a friend in school
Running back on the football team
They burned a cross in his front yard
For asking out the homecoming queen
I thought about him today
And everybody who'd seen what he'd seen
From a woman on a bus
To a man with a dream

Hey, wake up Martin Luther
Welcome to the future
Hey, glory, glory, hallelujah
Welcome to the future

[Thanks to Branden & Ashley Kittle, Alexandre Silva for lyrics]

[Thanks to Mike Mc Donald, Dan Kelly, Rue for corrections]


The only thing real about you is your green eyes, my bro-tha.

Show: A Different World

Episode: Ms. Understanding (1991)

Super duper senior Shazza Zulu (Gary Dourdan) tries to call out Kim Reese (Charnele Brown) for dating white Matthew.

Start scene at 6:52

Shazza Zulu: If we as Hillman men don't treat our women right, they'll go to somebody white. Kim Reese did.

Kim Reese: You pseudo intellectual, with a pseudo African name, spouting pseudo philosophy about a whole lot of nothing. In fact, the ONLY thing that's real about you is your green eyes, my bro-tha.


Interracial Duet: On My Own by Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald

Dear Readers,

I'm pretty sure my friend Ky and I are the only two black people in America who are not watching the BET awards tonight. Ky simply hates BET for its past (?) crimes of not uplifting the black race when it was in such an amazing position to do so. My reason is a bit more shallow: I just don't like award shows. Never have. However, I do like following people's commentaries on Twitter and Facebook. Go figure.

I was super excited when I saw posted that Ms. Patti LaBelle would be performing. Not going to lie, I first fell in love with her as Chipmunk's (Dwayne Wayne) mother on A Different World, and then learned what an amazing singer she is. Don't judge me! I was born in the 80s. I wasn't old enough to understand or appreciate her music way back when.

Anyway, I fell in love with this song of hers back when J.J. Kennedy hosted "New York's Favorite Love Songs" segment (8 p.m.-midnight weeknights) on 106.7 Lite FM.

For your enjoyment, the interracial duet of Ms. Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald singing On My Own.

Album : Winner In You
Year : 1986
On My Own
by Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonard
(Bacharach, Sager)

So many times,
Said it was forever,
Said our love would always be true,
Soimething in my heart always knew,
I'd be lying here beside you,
On my own
On my own
On my own

So many promises never should be spoken
Now I know what loving you cost
Now we're up to talking divorce
And we weren't even married
On my own
Once again now
One more time
By myself

No one said it was easy
But it once was so easy
Well I believed in love
Now here I stand
I wonder why

I'm on my own
Why did it end this way
On my own
This wasn't how it was supposed to be
OIn my own
I wish that we could do it all again

So many times
I know I should have told you
Losing you it cut like a knife
You walked out and there went my life
I don't want to live without you
On my own
On my own
On my own
Chorus Repeat

This wasn't how it was supposed to end
I wish that we could do it all again
I never dreamed I'd spend one night alone
On my own, I've got to find where I belong again
I've got to learn how to be strong again
I never dreamed I'd spend one night alone
By myself by myself
I've got to find out what was mine again
My heart is saying that it's my time again
And I have faith that I will shine again
I have faith in me
On my own
On my own
On my own


My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

I watched TLC’s My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding tonight (6/4) and wished I hadn’t. I would have preferred to keep what little (see: nothing) I know about the Gypsy culture unspoiled. While I can’t take this one show as the final stamp on all things Gypsy, I do wish I had had an opportunity to learn about this lifestyle in another manner. ‘Why am I so disheartened by this show?’ you ask. Um… can you pipe down and let me tell my story at my own pace, please? Thank you. Now where was I? *Scratching head and tapping finger on bottom lip* Oh, of course. This introduction to the Gypsy culture left me feeling as if they are a people who oppress women by keeping them tied to the traditional, archaic role of servants. Their belief seems to be that a woman’s genetic makeup is that of serving men.

“Gypsy wives are obliged to follow their husbands” so says the show. The women are subservient and do not have an identity independent of their husbands. They exist to be at their men’s beck and call – cooking, cleaning and raising the children. What nearly did me in was hearing one of the women (a young woman) talk about how in their world there is no such thing as ambition for education and career. The only thing young women aspire to is to be a wife.

For those who know me, this pretty much shakes my reality to the core. In my mind, education is inextricably tied to providing children (especially girls) with a healthy sense of self that will help them become productive members of society. I come from a Haitian household where my mother (though modern in certain ways) held very traditional beliefs about what it means to be female. She, like the Gypsies, shared the thought that a woman’s greatest accomplishment is that of wife and mother. Growing up, I was so against everything she stood for that I outright refused to learn how to cook and did not want to do any housework so I wouldn’t turn out like her. A bit extreme now when I think of it, but it seemed perfectly sensible at the time. It was this suffocating notion of what it means to be female that for years conditioned me to steer clear of marriage and motherhood. Although I did manage to work through the marriage aspect, I’m still battling the potential motherhood bit.

Anyway, back to the Gypsies. The one story that struck a chord with me was of the 22-year-old who was giving up her independence (working outside the home, her own car, money, home, etc…) to get married even though she clearly did not seem like she wanted to. As a spinster (yep, that is what you are as a 22-year-old unmarried Gypsy), she seemed motivated more by removing the stigma than an actual desire to be married. She, with good reason, was not looking forward to conforming to her new role as her husband’s property (in his I’m-joking-but-not-really words: “I own you now.”).

It was all I could do not to snatch her from the television screen and lock her in the basement (crap! I don’t own a basement. Note to self: Find a friend with a basement) until she came to her senses. Like my mother, her mother’s sense of pride came from seeing her daughter become a wife.

If it feels like I’m bashing marriage and devaluing housewives, I’m not. This is simply a view of someone who doesn’t “get” the picture on the other side of the lens. It’s the same way that I think my mother felt (and still feels on some level) about me. Based on her emotional and mental makeup, it was simply unfathomable that any female (especially her daughter) would reject marriage and  motherhood. I imagine that it would be the same for me if I had a daughter whose sole purpose in life was to get married, be a mother and keep a home. It would go against everything that’s wired in me.

This topic is one that has generated and continue to generate endless debates. Although I stand strongly on one side of the fence, I am always open to conversations that broaden my mind about the other side. Would love to hear your thoughts either way.

P.S. I don’t at all believe that to be a housewife raising children means forfeiting your education, or that you cater to your husband’s desires at his whim. The Gypsy lifestyle is the more extreme case. I understand that.

P.P.S. (ridiculous. Why isn’t it just P.S. 2, or even just P.S.?) I’m tempted to watch this show again to look at those dresses (bride, bridesmaids and guests) and scratch my head at why they would wear such hideous things, and wear them with such pride. No one on that show would escape the makeover mirrors of Clinton and Stacy.


21 Jump Street

This post was motivated by @hollyrpeete's new profile pic on Twitter. Although the show ran from 1987 - 1991, it wasn't until the last two years - at the ages of 9 and 10 - that I got acquainted with it. Through the magic of videotape (oy, I'm old.) I was able to catch everything I missed. My little behind was too cool for school thinking that I was Holly Robinson's Officer Judy. As if!

Anyway, if you don't already know, 21 Jump Street centered around an undercover police unit composed of young looking officers specializing in youth crime. Holly Robinson  (Peete not yet added) was part of a multicultural cast that included Johnny Depp, Dustin Nguyen and Peter DeLuise. A multicultural cast that will not transition to the 2012 remake. Last I heard, the only actor of color cast thus far for the remake is Ice Cube in the role of Captain Dickson. The equivalent of Ms. Peete's character will be played by a very blonde Brie Larson. Although I don't have anything against Ms. Larson (I'm not even familiar with her work), it's insulting that the role did not go to one of the many, many, MANY talented black actresses in Hollywood today. Hello Raven Symone, or many of the other suggestions made by Black Voices Online this past February.

Honestly, I think I'll stick to the DVD and pass on the remake.

For your viewing and listening pleasure, I present to you the theme song. My favorite part is that last '21111 Jump Street!' bit.


Some Days I Am My Hair

I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within

Some days I am indeed my hair. Sorry India.

When it comes to hair, sometimes it’s a pain in the donkey being a black woman. There. I've said it. Crucify me.

As a pre-teen I begged and pleaded with my mother to allow me to relax my hair – she caved, and what a mistake that was. My hair is naturally fine (I was not blessed with the coarse, thick long hair that is my sister’s trademark) so the relaxer did more damage than good. It wasn’t until college I decided to break the cycle by going back to my hair’s virgin state —something I learned that you can never actually do. Duh! Once that virginity is gone, it’s gone.

I was hoping to at least get my hair as close to its original makeup as possible. I spent the next few years natural, but mainly rocking micro braids or curly weaves. It was that way until April 2009 when I waved the white flag because I could not find a natural style to uphold the vision I had for my wedding. With a heavy heart, I allowed my maid of honor to relax my hair a few nights prior to the wedding.

Fast forward to a little over two years later and I am free of the creamy crack because I chose not to ‘touch up’ at the six week mark. I wanted to once again find my way back to my roots. To say that my hair is better off without the relaxer is not something I can pronounce with 100% confidence. This is most likely because I know very little about maintaining my hair in its natural state (or any other state, really) and it pays the consequence for my ignorance.

I recently spent a number of days removing braids from my hair and worrying about how to style it now that I wanted to take a braid/weave-break. A worry made worse by the fact that my hair is short, very fine and easily breakable. I had an anxiety attack over my fear that I would look Celie-Color-Purple-You-Sho’-Is-Ugly with my hair in its natural state. No chemicals. No hot combs. No extensions. Nope. Not a thing. Just me. As I am. With the change in my hair, the focus would now be on my face. How would I distract from the flesh moles that are my enemies? How was I to hide (or at least divert attention away from) the chickenpox mark taking prime real estate on the bridge of my nose since the age of seven? How would I keep people from noticing that my eyebrows are so thin at the end that it looks like someone shaved them off halfway? All my physical insecurities would take center stage now that I had to rely on my own beauty.

Despite the nauseating thoughts, I made the decision to move forward with this change. My household budget was demanding it. I no longer wanted to contribute to the $507 billion (Yep. Scratch out the m in million, replace it with a b and add a ridiculous amount of zeroes.) African Americans (hello women!) spent in 2009 on hair care and personal grooming items. This is at least according to an annual report published by Target Market News. I was stunned silent when I heard that number. How can that be when the Census reports that we make up only 12 or so percent of the American population? For the sake of all things sensible, I had to take fewer rides on this crazy bus.
I headed to the hair salon (knowing this would now become a special occasion trip) with a boulder heavy on my heart. Was I doing the right thing? Seriously? On most days I am a love-myself-unconditionally type of chick. Where was that girl today? Not even replaying India’s Video in my head could give me the confidence I needed. By the time I reached the salon, I had chickened out of my resolve to be a more spending-conscious black woman. At that point I just wanted to be one of the perfectly coiffed girls that sat next to me on the subway and walked alongside me from the train to the salon. I just wanted to fit in.

In an effort to fool myself into thinking I was saving money, I decided on the least expensive weave style available – $325. Add to this the cost of the hair, a deep conditioner and tip; I was looking at dropping $500 in one sitting. This literally made me sick. My stomach did not settle down until I told the stylist I had changed my mind. I just wanted to wash, deep condition, and cut and style MY hair. $500 - $145 = $355 that I almost wasted because of some false sense of beauty that I let dominate my mind.

The woman who walked out of that salon more closely resembled me on most days – one who understands and embraces the true meaning of 1 Samuel 16:7 – The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.
It was with that thought that I put my headphones in, searched for I Am Not My Hair on Slacker radio, gave myself a mental high five that it came up right away and walked down the streets of Brooklyn as if someone had thrown rose petals down for me to step on. While I was indeed my hair for most of the previous week, today I was choosing not to be.

Please share your thoughts on those days when you are your hair. How did you deal with it?

WEDDING HAIR. Relaxer. Weave.  
NATURAL HAIR. No Relaxer. No Weave.  
NATURAL HAIR UP CLOSE. No Relaxer. No Weave.


HawthoRNe Interracial Wedding

Dear Readers,

If you don't know it by now, I'm a huge fan of the relationship between “HawthoRNe” Jada Pinkett Smith’s Christina Hawthorne and Michael Vartan's Dr. Tom Wakefield.

Last season ended two interracial love triangles:

Tom - Christina - Nick (Detective Nick Renata, played by Marc Anthony)

Christina - Tom - Erin (Actress Abigail Spencer)

Now that Christina and Tom are expecting a  baby we hope to retire these triangles for good. Let's focus on this new family being built. Although, we have to admit that Nick and Christina were adorable together. 

Thanks @ for the sneak peek of the wedding.


Walking in Memphis

Dear Readers,

I love folk rock singer-song writer music. I can't properly verbalize why I connect with this music on such a heartfelt level, but I do.

A fun tidbit that I recently learned is that Marc Cohn who sings one of my favorite, Walking in Memphis, is part of an intercultural couple. He is married to ABC News Correspondent Elizabeth Vargas. Vargas is Puerto Rican and Irish-American. They have two sons: Zachary Raphael, who was born on January 31, 2003, and Samuel Wyatt, who was born on August 16, 2006.

For your enjoyment, I present Walking in Memphis.



Dark Girls: A documentary

Dear Readers,

Oooh goodness it's getting hot here in NYC. I'm looking forward to the summer, but not that beating noon-day sun. I remember once upon a time I used to avoid the sun like the plague. Not necessarily because I was afraid of aging prematurely (yet another thing I would have worried about had I known to worry about it), but because I feared getting any darker than I already was. Those of you who've been reading this blog know that I've posted once or twice on that topic. Take a look if you haven't already:

Twitter #teenagememories: praying for a bigger butt and lighter skin 
Black IS Beautiful. Psychology Today article, where's the science?

Today,@swirlmag shared a preview for an upcoming documentary entitled Dark Girls. Powerful words from sistas who've shared a common pain. I'm looking forward to seeing more of this documentary. I hope they also balance it with some of the experiences of our light skin sistas as it relates to this topic of light vs. dark in the black community. 




Multiracial and Multicultural Weddings...Commence Drooling

Dear Readers,

It's no surprise to anyone who knows me that I little black heart weddings. I don't necessarily like to attend them, nor am I a huge proponent of marriage - yes, I know I'm married. No, I'm more of a side-line viewer. I like to watch various TV shows and visit websites that capture all aspects of the wedding experience: the couple's story, the dress, the food, the decor...you name it. I'm especially excited when it's an interracial or intercultural couple because the diversity provides an added component.

One of my favorite sites to drool over is Wedding Nouveau. Below are some highlights of some of those I like the most. Trust me, it was a difficult decision.

You can check out Wedding Nouveau to view more.



Indian and Finnish

Black and Jewish

Nigerian and Chinese/Vietnamese
Egyptian American

West-Indian Canadian and Canadian

Bengali American and Scottish

Korean American

Vietnamese and Taiwanese

Marriage by Proxy by Sasha Combs

Marriage by ProxyMarriage by Proxy by Sasha Combs

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I'm sure the author is a lovely, lovely person. However, I'm quite upset that she would try to pass this off as a book. The story sticks in my head because it is so poorly written. I'm all for suspension of disbelief in order to accept a storyline as plausible, but not when I can't get past all the technical errors. Where was the editor?

View all my reviews


Virginia Hasn't Always Been for Lovers by Phyl Newbeck

Thank you for being an [interracial] friend...

Dear Readers,

Sorry I've been slacking on the blog posts...work has been keeping me pretty busy. As a way to unwind, I've been watching nonstop reruns of the Golden Girls. I little black heart this show and all the ladies - especially Sophia, who I most identify with. 

I have yet to meet the person (age, race, ethnicity, whatever) who has watched this show and not enjoyed it. If you are that person, please don't spoil it for me by admitting it. 

For your enjoyment, I present: "The Golden Girls" Mixed Blessings (1988)
The episode where Dorothy's son Michael is engaged to a black woman who is twice his age. 
Sophia Petrillo: [Sophia walks in and sees Lorraine and her family, of African American decent] What is this a revival of Raisins in the Sun?
Michael Zbornak: Grandma, this is my fiancé, Lorraine, and this is her mother and her two aunts.
Sophia Petrillo: Wait-wait-wait-wait... This is your fiancé?
Michael Zbornak: Yep, that's right.
Sophia Petrillo: You couldn't find someone your own age?
Greta: What is that supposed to mean?
Sophia Petrillo: No offense, but it looks as though you're daughter's been around the block more times then a good humour man!
Greta: [Turns to her sister] Hold my purse - those are fighting words!
Rose Nylund: Stop it all of you! What difference does it make that Lorraine's a little long in the tooth and Michael's a skinny white boy? Can't you see they love each other? We should be celebrating not arguing whether or not it's right. Now what do you say we all join hands and sing a chorus of 'Abraham, Martin and John?'
Greta: Is she for real?
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Yep - frightening isn't it?  



Multicultural Men Take A Stand To Prevent Violence Against Women

Dear Readers,

I'm not even going to pretend that this video doesn't put a GIANT smile on my face. I stumbled upon it just a little while ago on a RT of a post from @iluvblackwomen and have watched it multiple times since.

More than the fact that it's great to have men of all cultures talking about what makes their partners beautiful, I appreciate the purpose of the video to have men uplift women as a stand against domestic violence.

I continue to be a proponent of organizations that empower boys and men to advocate against all types of violence toward women. One such organization is Men Stopping Violence (MSV) whose mission for the past 30 years has been working to create a community-centered response to domestic violence that will discourage men from using violence or abuse in their intimate relationships.

Part of our mission here at EIRIC (in our shop Made in The World) is to make a profit to make a difference. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), in 2007, there were 248,300 victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. (These figures do not include victims 12 years old or younger.). It is our belief that an effective means of combating this statistic is to train and empower boys and young men to be agents of social change against sexual violence. The goal is that if it's done early on we'll end up with fewer cases such as that of former IMF leader Dominique Strauss-Kahn who stands accused of sexually assaulting the West African maid at his NYC hotel. We want to raise men who will shape the minds of younger boys (be it sons, nephews, cousins, students, etc...) to respect women. 

Hopefully with your support we can raise the funds to make this a reality. 




Happy Haitian Flag Day!

Dear Readers, 

Today I celebrate the flag day of my country of birth as I sit here in the country I was raised. 

To share this celebration with you, this post captures a brief history of the flag. 

Hope it enlightens you.



Brief History of the Flag:

The first Haitian flag was created on May 18, 1803

Catherine Flon, a seamstress in Archahaie (a town outside of Port-au-Prince), stitched together the first version of the flag

 Flag Day is a nationally recognized holiday in Haiti

Army General Jean-Jacques Dessalines made the first rough draft of a flag by grabbing France's red, white and blue, ripping the white stripe to pieces and joining the blue and red together.

This makeshift flag symbolized the union of the mulattoes and the blacks against the colonialist, pro-slavery France.

The arms are composed of a palm tree surmounted by the Phrygian cap of liberty and ornamented with trophies with a banner across the bottom saying "L'Union Fait La Force" (through Unity there is Strength). 

In 1805, after Dessalines proclaimed himself emperor, the Haitian flag colors were changed to black and red bands placed vertically, respectively.

After his death in 1806, the country was divided into two republics for 14 years. Henri Christophe and the northern part of the country retained Dessalines' flag.  

The southern and western parts of the country, led by Alexandre Petion, went back to the 1804 blue and red flag. This time a square patch was added to the middle that included the country arms and the L'Union Fait La Force motto.

The flag was in use until 1964 when Papa Doc Duvalier modified Dessalines' version by adding the arms of the Republic.  

After the fall of the Duvalier regime in 1986, the people took back the flag. They changed it to two-equal sized horizontal bands, a blue on one top and a red one underneath. The coat of arms of the Republic remained in the center. 

This is the version of the flag that is in use today.  

Catherine Flon  

The version of the flag that is in use today. 

Arab American Crowned Miss USA!

Dear Readers,

I'm moving over some old (as far back as 2009) posts from the main EIRIC™ site to here. Reason: I'm going with a different direction for the front page. Please feel free to take a look and provide your feedback.



Ridiculously gorgeous Rima Fakih, Miss Michigan, was crowned on Sunday, May 16th as Miss USA 2010. Ms. Fakih, a Lebanese American, is the first woman of Arab descent to hold both the Ms. Michigan and Ms. USA titles. Congratulations Ms. Fakih! We can't think of a more beautiful face to represent the U.S.